- Christmas Eve
- Woke up happy to open presents
- Read bad text
- Texted friends
- Sadness rained over me
- Felt guilt for not knowing
- Cookies
- Tree with presents that I wanted but didn’t feel like opening them
- Disbelief
- Tears everywhere from everyone
- Nothing felt real
- Line wrapped around building at wake
- All my friends hugging each other
- School after break was not the same
This story matters because so many other people struggle from depression and have suicidal thoughts and sometimes people don’t realize it. Some people’s friends or family members could be struggling or them personally and this could help them realize there are other options or that they are not alone. Sometimes people just need to hear that other people have gone through something similar and that they are not alone. Telling this story can create a social cohesion that is needed for this topic because it is extremely common in our society.
What I questioned immediately was why my friend didn’t tell any of us that he was struggling as bad as he was. The only answer I have is he felt shame in telling us because he thought there was something to feel ashamed of.
Lexi, I can relate to your notes on so many levels. I am also making my podcast on losing a friend and just reading your post resonated with me on so many levels. I completely agree that many people are ashamed to share their struggles with others, and that is what leads them to have suicidal thoughts. I think you have an excellent point that sharing stories like this can create desperately needed social cohesion.
I love the use of the presents under the tree and how you viewed them before and after the text that morning. You already have lots of great details in here. Nice work. Keep writing!
Lexi, I am so sorry for your loss. No one should have to lose their friend at such a young age. I think your message that depression is very real is so important. I think the point you made about wondering why he didn’t tell anyone would be a really interesting topic in your podcast. You have a lot of vivid details and I felt like I could feel the hurt you were feeling during this time.